I bought a pair of All Birds shoes! I'm ethical! But seriously (I actually have two pairs, double ethics) Nah nah but seriously, I suppose a recent ethical decision was when earlier this year I found out a good friend was going through a real bad time mentally, so I moved cities to live with him for a few months to try help him through it. I had to weigh it up against other options, but luckily I was in a flexible situation that allowed me to move at the drop of a hat, and it felt like the right thing to do.

Due to max openness stats I'm easily influenced. Depending on culture. Depending on people around me. This makes it super important for me to be intentional about who I spend time with, and what I spend my time on in general, what I consume online, how many hobbies I'm picking up. Having gone through lots of self-doubt in the past, and having been in circles of people who bring each other down (in the semblance of 'banter' but is actually a deep-seated form of toxicity) I now really value kindness and being supportive to everyone, and finding similar people. We're all often going through self-doubt and criticism and being kind and supportive to people is an antidote to this, it can make all the difference to them proceeding with their projects and growth etc.

My strengths have to be wielded carefully. My natural tendency to be enthusiastic and come up with tonnes of ideas needs to channelled with discipline to stay on track. My enthusiasm likes to jump to new shiny avenues if things get a little stale. I get bored. And I’m naturally unorganised. Unless I get on top of it all by really applying myself. I know what must be done. Instilling a solid routine and making a consistent commitment to removing distractions.

You wouldn't want to see the amount of quotes I have saved. It would take forever to gather them all and share them. The blog would clog up the github servers. Bring it down. An infinite number of monkeys on infinite typewriters couldn't write them out. No okay maybe they could. But it would take them a while. Okay, I'll go for a quote of the Stoic philosopher Seneca:

"As long as you live, keep learning how to live."

"Who looks outside dreams. Who looks inside awakens."

“What a fucking crazy batshit dream that was!” — Anthony Killeen, this morning.

So I just cast my mind over a few possible highlights to put forward for an answer to something I'm proud of, and realised I've actually got quite a few to choose from. Which in turn made me proud again. I mean, I could've thought it over and had nothing. But in saying that, despite there being many, not one of the highlights are a career (nervous giggle). Hence taking this course.

So let's begin with the good. I'm proud that ten years ago I got out of my hometown. And home country. Merry miserable ol' England. I come from a pretty poor working class town in Northern England and no-one in my family had travelled. I'm proud to have travelled a bunch and lived all over the world from Nepal to New Zealand. Proud that after years of struggling to get it going, I'm on the fourth draft of a 500page novel. I'm proud that I started and continue to do perform stand-up comedy (something I aspired to do for too - many - years). I'm proud to have finally beaten procrastination in general (something I procrastinated on for too - many - years) and related to that, proud to have figured out how to focus, and be disciplined, and be consistent.

A lot's changed the last five years. When I started to get my shit together. When I sat down, looked at my strengths. And what I needed to work on. I found out on various personality models I score off the charts for things like Openness, creativity, enthusiasm. And that I score laughably low in discipline and conscientiousness. Like I didn't know already. I knew. But I was avoiding it. My tendency to procrastinate is a tendency to be avoidant to emotional pain. I knew. But I was avoiding it. I would complain about it. About starting infinite projects and finishing none. About getting enthusiastic about ev er y thing, my focus was a scattered bag of butterflies, my compass spinning manically, I was attempting to dig fifty wells instead of one.

I'm proud that I turned around an-approaching-thirty-life-crisis into a period filled with the most personal growth I think I've had in my life. Okay maybe womb development tops it, but not by much. A few years ago, I wouldn't have had all the skills to get me through a course like this. I would've had the enthusiasm but not the discipline and general well being to do so.